Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Seal Oil Salesman

A good friend's jar of seal oil.

Seal Oil Salesman

Step right up and dip your:

Salmon! Pike! Whitefish! Blackfish!
Lushfish! Halibut!

For all fish:
Dried, smoked, baked, frozen,
fermented, and raw!

Ingest for:
Stomach ache! Constipation! Diarrhea!
Body aches, cold, flu, general malaise!

For Eskimo Ice-Cream mix with:
A splash of boiling water, Crisco,
whip with your bare hand
add sugar
salmon berries, blue berries, and crow!

Rub on:
Frost bite, burns, sore joints!
Cheeks! Lips! Wounds!

Use for:
Waterproofing, lubrication, softening!
Heat, light, and warmth!

Does not:
emit carbon, pollute, cause wars

Does not:
ruin beaches, rivers, lakes, oceans

Does not:
cause cancer, greed, avarice

Does not:
require pipelines, drilling, corruption

[This poem was picked up by public radio and read over the air on Bethel's awesome radio station, KYUK, by Shane Iverson. You can hear the poem, complete with perfect background music, here! ]

1 comment:

  1. Ooh I could tell you a story about a quart jar of seal oil in a backpack en route to Hawaii, roughly handled and poorly repacked by the TSA on the last leg from Honolulu to Hilo. Broken glass, oil on everyone's luggage, that smell... To crown it all, the person I was bringing it for was offended I hadn't tried to squeeze the oil out of my things and re-collect it! And that smell. For months and many washings...