Thursday, August 22, 2013

10 Rules of Writing, Please Do Not Share When I Die

Rejection: Embrace it Like a Wet Dog

Elmore Leonard's list of 10 Rules of Writing went viral the day he left us for the great typewriter in the sky. And while that is an awesome list, probably the best ten rules ever written (sorry creator of great typewriter in the sky), I'm sure all the other great writers still living sat down at their Apple IIe's and pounded out their own ten, perhaps even eleven, rules.

Should I find myself headed towards the great typewriter in the sky (which really sounds more like hell now that I think about it), I can only hope that no one ever shares this list of my own ten rules of writing.  The last thing I want is all my work ( a few blog posts, a raunchy comedy, a bathroom stall poem, a maybe a dusty novel or two) distilled down into a list of ten rules about writing.

So please, don't share this after I die. Deal?

Don Rearden's 10 Rules of Writing*

1. Don't try to find an agent before you've written your novel.
"Wait! These are supposed to be ten rules about writing!" you say. Correct. If you're trying to find an agent or asking about how to find an agent and you haven't written anything, then you aren't writing. So really, rule #1 should just say, if you're going to write, do that first. But first read the other rules, so as to not break any more rules. Really you shouldn't even be reading any of this rule business, you should be writing, but since you're obviously not doing that, keep looking for rules that might somehow make you a better writer.

2. Quit trying to find rules that will make you a better writer.
Our society is obsessed with a short cuts. Rules a writer make something something, not doesn't sense. Quit being lazy and just go write (following the rules, naturally).

3. Struggle
Your aren't going to become a writer if you don't first struggle. I don't mean at writing. I mean life. No one wants to read a book written by a guy who learned all the rules of writing as a toddler, had a full ride at Stanford by junior high, a Pulitzer his freshman year of college, and then married the heiress to the Twinkie Corporation. Even if that guy writes a mean sentence, no one wants to hear about how agents and editors mob him every time he opens up a Word Doc. You need to struggle. Work a crappy job. Be poor. Go to jail. Drink. Go to war. Have ten kids. Drink. You know struggle. This won't make your writing any richer, but you'll have more street cred when you actually produce something.

4. Produce Something
People talk a mean game. They have an idea for a story. They had a dream that would make a cool movie. They really want to write ________. But they don't. They talk about it while the real writers are at home struggling. Again, not on their writing, but on their lives. Keep that straight.

5. Revise What You Produce
If you haven't followed rule #4, then go back and first produce something, and you'd better damn well be struggling at life while you do it. Then read over your work out loud, preferably to your cat or dog (if you don't have a cat or dog skip to Rule #6). Then read it again, and again. Then give it to a friend or reader who won't blow smoke up your ass. If you don't have any friends, congratulations! You have at least accomplished Rule #3! Pat yourself on the back. Fortunate for you, if you have a friend who will blow actual smoke up your ass, you might also ask them for a great deal of money so that you don't have to struggle in your writing career. Don't worry, this is okay, because if you can talk the friend into the smoke or money thing, then you're already on your way.

6. Own a Cat or Dog
Don't question this. Just do it. Famous writers have pets. No pets, no publishing deal. Plus, you'll need someone who will listen to the shit you wrote before Rule #5 and you'll need someone there when you hit Rule #3. Trust me. Cat. Dog. Or both, to cover your bases.

7. Rewrite 
Take your first major piece of writing, say your first novel. Close that file. Open a new one. And rewrite the entire thing without looking at the old one. Why? Because I had to do that in grad school and it really sucked, nearly broke me (I struggled), but that struggle is what got me here today. So you should have to do this as well. Especially if you're the kind of person who reads long lists of rules about writing when you should actually be writing.

8. Revise what you Rewrote
See Rule #5 if you don't get this point. Better yet just go sit with Rule #6 on your lap and stare out your window.

9. Rewrite
Rewrite what you wrote. Again. Except this time I'm talking about that query to an agent. It's not agent time, yet, relax, You're a long way from that. Instead, find more readers. Seek out writers who are better than you. Make sure they are struggling. Then add to their burden. Ask them to read your manuscript. Correct it. Critique it. And maybe forward to their agent (after they have edited fixed the plot holes and grammatical atrocities).

10. Never Give Up
You've written your opus, and perhaps your wife, the Twinkie heiress, has lost her fortune and left you for someone who knows how to struggle and liked dogs. You can't find an agent. You can't find a publisher. All hope appears lost. You've followed all the rules. You're looking for more rules. Rules to write by. Rules to live by. Keep looking, friend, and keep writing. Never give up on the dream that some day you could die and a list you wrote might be shared around the world.



*Don't actually follow these rules. Except for maybe #1, 6, and 10.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

A Booklist Review --- Unstarred, but what's a Star?

A Booklist review suddenly appeared on the Amazon Page of The Raven's Gift, and it's a good one. I thought I'd share it all for you. I appreciate what the reviewer, Connie Fletcher had to say, and I really loved the imagery of the last line:

This is part dystopian survival tale, part Jack London wilderness saga, and part Stephen King/Michael Crichton–style suspense story. Holding it all together, and making this much more than a what happens when people can’t defend against a massive threat exercise, is Alaska native Rearden’s deep knowledge of the Yukon-Kuskokwim Delta and the culture of the Yupik Eskimos living there. Rearden takes an adventurous, idealistic young couple (John and Anna), gives them jobs as first-year teachers, and plunks them in a tiny village in a tiny home free of all amenities. From the start, though, readers will know something is off: Why, in the scene before the couple’s job interview, are an unidentified man and woman crawling through the snow, looking for signs of life? The narrative consists of three separate time lines—what happened before almost everyone in the village disappeared; John and Anna’s first efforts to teach and adjust; and John’s desperate efforts to survive and return to Anna. This narrative mix is deliberately confusing, like following tracks in the snow, and just as engrossing. --Booklist, Connie Fletcher

 I'll that that review with a grin, and of course have no problems with the Jack London/Stephen King/Michael Crichton comparison! So who needs a "starred review" with those stars involved, right?

(Don't forget to sign up for the Kindle Fire Giveaway! Only a few days left! See the other posts for details!)

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Tuesday Poem: in the presence of a God, dead


Tundra Raven, photo by Julien Jacobs

In the Presence of a God, dead
 
A raven
rumpled black
in the snow
this vision
haunts me still

a people's creator
his power lost
long before a wing
clipped the wires
--the new power--
hanging over the land
 
Sometimes I still stand
over the ruffled raven corpse
the cold burns my cheeks
I blink ice
and wonder what one
should do
in the presence of a god,
dead and
I cannot bury him
in the crusty white
covering the tundra


(April 3/2009)

Monday, August 19, 2013

Turn Again --- and a Kindle Fire!

An Alaskan "Must Read" Novel


All the excitement of the Washington Post review nearly had me forgetting that I was running the hottest book giveaway ever! Now we only have two weeks left, so I'd better get to sharing with you some of the cool possibilities!

Today I want to highlight my buddy Kris Farmen's novel Turn Again. This is an incredible Alaskan novel, and the first novel I had the honor to provide a blurb for:

“Kris Farmen’s Turn Again is a spellbinding masterpiece. A powerful epic with unforgettable characters, rich Alaskan history and culture, and an authentic glimpse at a time when humanity was forsaken in the name of progress. Farmen has crafted a haunting tale of mythical transformation and lost love. There is much to be learned from this modern parable.”
            —Don Rearden, author of the critically acclaimed novel, The Raven’s Gift
  
And while I might be a creative writer and story teller, the above is simply fact. Farmen writes one hell of a story, and an important one at that. He's such a gifted writer that I often wonder how much fiction he put into his own blurb for my novel, which has found its way in the new Canadian Pintail edition of The Raven's Gift:


"Don Rearden is a masterful storyteller, and an artist of extraordinary talent and vision. Like all great books, The Raven’s Gift transcends geography and culture; it provides a window into what it means to be human in an age when humanity is all too often pushed aside and those who live at the margins forsaken in the name of political expedience."
–Kris Farmen, author of Turn Again and The Devil's Share


What is definitely not in question is that Kris Farmen can flat out write a great story. You'll have the chance to agree with me if you win the Kindle Fire in my giveaway and choose to have Kris's book as one of the books the Kindle will come with!

Here is how to enter:

There are THREE ways to win! You can do ONE or all THREE!

1. Read the first chapter of the book for free on my website.
Then answer the following question:  The main characters nearly 1000 mile trek will begin on what river? Send your answer to ravensgift.thebook@gmail.com

2. Post a photo of yourself with your copy of The Raven's Gift on the Facebook page here.

3. Order your Kindle, iBook, or Nook copy of The Raven's Gift and tell your friends and family on your Facebook page, Twitter, or wherever and email a link to your posting at ravensgift.thebook@gmail.com

But wait!!! There will be more ways to win will coming over the coming weeks. I'll draw a winner of the grand prize for the Kindle Fire on August 30th. Books and ebooks will be given away from now until then!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Today: A rare glimpse at an old poem of mine.


Now With Regret

 
from my first footsteps on the tundra
Kindergarten & 8th Grade Graduation. I'm the under-dressed kid.
I wanted to learn from the people
Raven made from a ball of clay
I wanted to speak with them
their language came from the earth
mine, a theft of all those before it

I tried at first,
but couldn’t escape the mirror of
that pale faced boy, who came before me
too much to bear
or perhaps
I used Adam as an excuse
my cowardice
not to learn

When their words kissed my ears
I would answer back
quietly in Kassatuun

in Kass'aq

White man.

so secretly longing to share
but not brave enough to choke on my pride
ignorance burning in my cheeks

Now with regret
I pour over books
and try to make my old brain
absorb and remember
everything I didn’t allow myself to become






12/13/06

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Authors and Bloggers! Join my Kindle Fire Giveaway!

Authors and Book Bloggers have the opportunity to join in the hottest book and Kindle giveaway ever! Read more to find out how to participate!

Sorry, this Give Away is too Hot for Polar Bears!
First, let me get you up to speed. On August 30th, I'll be drawing to see who wins a Kindle Fire loaded with great authors who have blurbed my novel The Raven's Gift. If you're an author you could join the likes of Jodi Picoult, Daniel Quinn, Eowyn Ivey, Craig Johnson, David Vann, Pete Fromm, Seth Kantner, Bill Streever, Kris Farmen, Jo Ann Mapson, Lesley Thomas, and Alaska Quarterly Review Editor Ronald Spatz!  All you need to do is get your hands on a copy of the novel and read it and post on via your own social media and tag me or send me your blurb for the novel before August 30th and I'll include your novel in the list of authors that the winner of the Kindle Fire can choose from!

If you're a book blogger, all you need to do is feature this contest on your blog and promote it to your readership, or better yet write a short review of the book! Either way will get you entered to win yourself (just be sure to let me know!).

And what about the author/bloggers? You over achievers...pick which one works for you! The blurb option gives you a chance to have your ebook promoted in the contest, so you decide! Or do both?

Here is a recap of the contest:

The Kindle Fire that I give away will also come with a copy of The Raven's Gift AND the winner's choice of FIVE --- you read that correctly FIVE ebooks from the authors who have blurbed the novel.

I'll also be giving away e-editions of my novel and some actual old fashion and totally burnable editions of The Raven's Gift!

So you've read this far --- thanks --- now how do you win? It's simple!!! There are THREE ways to win! You can do ONE or all THREE!

1. Read the first chapter of the book for free on my website.
Then answer the following question:  The main characters nearly 1000 mile trek will begin on what river? Send your answer to ravensgift.thebook@gmail.com

2. Post a photo of yourself with your copy of The Raven's Gift on the Facebook page here.

3. Order your Kindle, iBook, or Nook copy of The Raven's Gift and tell your friends and family on your Facebook page, Twitter, or wherever and email a link to your posting at ravensgift.thebook@gmail.com

But wait!!! There will be more ways to win will coming over the coming weeks. I'll draw a winner of the grand prize for the Kindle Fire on August 30th. Books and ebooks will be given away from now until then!